Ignorance Is Bliss

One of my favorite things about this year has been lunch.  Almost every weekday, several (if not all) of my coworkers and I gather in the library and eat our lunch together.  Given that you have to be a special kind of person to take this job in the first place, that's quite the cast of characters.  The conversations do not disappoint. 

Most recently we discussed: is ignorance really bliss?  When we say "ignorance is bliss," one coworker pointed out, "we're not talking about ignorance of who has the right of way at a four-way stop."  We're talking about the big stuff.  Infidelity.  Incurable illness.  Those sorts of things. 

To help keep the conversation under control we settled on: if the world were ending in one week, would you want to know?  We all said yes.  We then quickly realized that if everyone knew the world were ending in a week, travel would be impossible, so we'd never be able to make it back to the lower 48 . . . so what would we do if we had seven days in Anchorage prior to the world's end?

Some highlights:
1.  Not one of us would spend any time watching TV.
2.  One of us would, however, watch this video "probably three times."
3.  We all agreed that crashing a car into a house would be awesome.
4.  We also wanted to see how fast our cars could go, drive a car off a cliff, and "execute a perfect J-turn."

So . . . is ignorance bliss?  And what would you do if you had seven days left but couldn't spend it huddled up with your significant other or parents?

So Many Updates

Mercy-me, am I behind on my blog!  Let's take it chronologically:
 

1.  Many weekends ago a group of ladies (and one of my roommates, who is a guy -- don't ask) drove to Talkeetna for the legendary Talkeetna Bachelor Society Wilderness Woman Contest and Bachelor Auction and Ball.  I know it sounds like I'm making this up, but I'm not.  Check the links.  I participated in the first round of the contest (racing with extremely heavy buckets of water), where I was mightily defeated.  Which was actually a blessing, as the second and third rounds included tasks like "saw wood," "race a snow mobile," and "make a sandwich for a bachelor" (oh the horror!).  After a delicious fried dinner, we all trouped over to the auction where we saw hours upon hours of bachelor-auctioning.  The highlight: the bachelor who was wearing only a wolf-fur thong (don't tell the Companion).
 

2.  I officiated three weddings.  Yes, that's legal.  It was weird and therefore noteworthy.  Buuut I'm over it, so let's move on.

  

3.  I started working for this blog as an official contributor.  I post whenever I can on topics that concern religion and the law.  I love it!  I get to think and write about something that is very interesting to me, and it feels like I'm honing my skills as an accessible legal writer.  Here's my most recent post.
  

4.  I took a week off for Christmas break, spent the time in Washington, D.C. with the Companion, and had a great time.  I arrived on Christmas Eve, and the Companion and I stayed with his parents in Virginia until Monday.  Aside from Tuesday, when Companion unexpectedly had to work and I FLIPPED OUT, we spent the entire week together.  It was lovely.  We had Thai food, baked goods, ice cream, Companion-cooked food, and the Companion took me to dinner at Obelisk and tea time at the Ritz.  In return, I took him to Ray's Hell Burger and 2 Amys.  Needless to say, I got the better end of that deal.
  

5.  Then, tragically, the break was over and I had to go back to Alaska.  To distract myself from heartbreak, and to get a chance to use all of my swanky new winter-weather gear (Christmas gifts and random gifts from the cmpnn), I signed up for some downhill ski lessons.  Keep in mind I have never downhill skied, and I've only cross-country skied once (I just wasn't that into it).  But it was super-fun!  Seriously!  I fell down, for sure, but it doesn't really hurt, and the fun of it so far outweighs the unpleasantness of falling.  Worst experience: my instructor put me on a blue square (the middle level of difficulty) on my first day and I was barrelling down the mountain towards a sign that read "SLOW" and I could most certainly not slow down so I instead threw myself to the ground.  My confidence was shaken, but I returned for my lesson the next day, stuck with the easy green circles, and had a great time.
   

Is that it?  I think that's it!  I need to post more so that I can fill each post with "hilarious" minutiae.

Listening to the Radio in Anchorage

This blog is getting kind of lame, so I'm going to talk about something cool today: namely, what it is like to be me and listen to the radio in my car while driving around Anchorage.

First of all, Anchorage LOVES the 90's.  I have heard Gangsta's Paradise so many times that I'm almost singing the real lyrics instead of the Weird Al lyrics when I hear it.  Also: Salt 'N Pepa.  OK that's the late 80's, but whatever.

So about Salt N' Pepa: they're awesome.  BUT, just as an fyi . . . if you have to roll down your window to scan into your work parking lot, and you park near your boss, I would HIGHLY recommend turning down the volume if you're listening to Push It on the way to work.  Just a suggestion.  To myself.

Back in my U of C days, one of my BFFs and I would cruise Hyde Park, scamming for dudes, eating french fries, and listening to tunes.  On one such occasion, the smash hit by Lipps, Inc., Funktown, came on the radio.  We spent the next four minutes realizing that we lived in the funkiest town of all: Hyde Park!  Look at all those haggard students and bewildered nerds in puffy coats (it was winter).  Gotta make a move to a town that's right for meeeee.

Fast forward to winter in Anchorage.  Anchorage loves this new song I'm Sexy and I Know It (I'm not 100% sure this song is new.  It might be from the mid-90s).  Listening to this song while driving around town reminds me so much of the Lipps, Inc. incident.  I love cruising the snowy streets, imagining that everybody's stopping "and staring at me," just like they're all staring at the guy in the song.  No one can deny it: I'm rockin' my sleeping bag coat, Uggs, and mittens.  If Anchorage winter-wear isn't sexy, then what is?

So keep up the good work, Anchorage radio.  Although maybe stop playing so much Phil Collins.  He kind of freaks me out.

The Holidays Are Here

I spent the day after Thanksgiving in true holiday style: drinking, watching a tree-lighting ceremony, and seeing the Nutcracker. It was delightful!

It's Thanksgiving!

Which means that I'm here to tell you about how great my life is, and how you should feel bad about yourself if your life isn't similarly great.  Don't try to deny it: that's the point of a preponderance of Thanksgiving posts.

Well not this one.  Because this Thanksgiving, I'm not in the mood for creating a list of things for which I am thankful, no matter how many articles I read about the value of "cultivating a mindset of thankfulness."  Barf.  I tried to snap myself out of it by hiding in my room all night to watch TV and eat M&Ms, but now I just have a headache.  So that didn't work.  Which actually surprises me.  Since when does socially isolating yourself and eating junk food NOT make you feel better?

I suppose I'm cranky because I know I'm in a bind.  Family holidays are always, of course, full of drama.  Given that I seem to be moving farther and farther away from home with each passing year, and given that the Friday after Thanksgiving apparently isn't a holiday anymore, it just makes less and less sense to go home.  But then I feel homesick!  The universe conspires to remind me, and all other similarly-situated people, that if you're not spending Thanksgiving with your family, well you may think you're hip and cool and have formed an alternate family or whatever the hip term is for "friends" these days, but you're actually just failing in some way.  Failing to be close enough to your family.  Failing to have started a family of your own.  Failing to be a responsible member of your family and make the trip back to see them.  Pick your fail.  It's exhausting!

So am I thankful to be spending the day with a ragtag bunch of awesome people?  Of course.  But am I also thankful for M&Ms and The X-Files?  Absolutely.

What's the Opposite of Grievances?

Well tonight, I'm airing those.

1.  Sledding.  Awesome.  That's all that needs to be said.
2.  What happens in the 60's, stays in the 60's.
3.  The real reason for this post . . . check out what a BAMF I am (the first is leaving home in the morning, the second is on my way home at the end of the day . . . thank goodness it warmed up!):

Airing a Few Grievances

1.  You do not WALK in lane one.  What is wrong with you people? Yes, you moved after I passed you a couple of times, but if I see you there again, I will punch the back of your head (just kidding, thought police: I have never, nor will I ever, punch someone in the head because they're in my way).
2. Allow me a minute of your time to discuss . . . winter sports.  What.  The.  Heck.  Snow and ice are really slippery.  This is a good reason to AVOID them.  Not a good reason to put smooth boards or blades on your feet and hang out on them in arctic temperatures.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!  Furthermore, all of the clothing that one wears in order to participate in winter sports (or, let's be honest, to participate in winter in general) is so big and bulky and ridiculous.  A life in which you're happier wearing a sleeping bag with arms than you are not wearing one . . . well that's no life at all.  Although I was gifted some pretty snazzy ski pants today, so maybe it's not all bad.
3.  Wind chill.  It's already in the single digits, Alaska.  No need to blow double digit winds.  It's overkill.
4.  Hey Anchorage?  Are you listening?  Spreading gravel all over the roads is not as effective as salting them.  I'm sorry, but it's just not.  No one can tell where the lanes are.  I have to walk across an ice-rink-equivalent to get from my office to my car.  I've forgotten what asphalt looks like.

OK.  I feel better.  And to make amends with my current home, allow me to show that Alaska is indeed still magnificent in the winter.