1. You do not WALK in lane one. What is wrong with you people? Yes, you moved after I passed you a couple of times, but if I see you there again, I will punch the back of your head (just kidding, thought police: I have never, nor will I ever, punch someone in the head because they're in my way).
2. Allow me a minute of your time to discuss . . . winter sports. What. The. Heck. Snow and ice are really slippery. This is a good reason to AVOID them. Not a good reason to put smooth boards or blades on your feet and hang out on them in arctic temperatures. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Furthermore, all of the clothing that one wears in order to participate in winter sports (or, let's be honest, to participate in winter in general) is so big and bulky and ridiculous. A life in which you're happier wearing a sleeping bag with arms than you are not wearing one . . . well that's no life at all. Although I was gifted some pretty snazzy ski pants today, so maybe it's not all bad.
3. Wind chill. It's already in the single digits, Alaska. No need to blow double digit winds. It's overkill.
4. Hey Anchorage? Are you listening? Spreading gravel all over the roads is not as effective as salting them. I'm sorry, but it's just not. No one can tell where the lanes are. I have to walk across an ice-rink-equivalent to get from my office to my car. I've forgotten what asphalt looks like.
OK. I feel better. And to make amends with my current home, allow me to show that Alaska is indeed still magnificent in the winter.
Showing posts with label raging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raging. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Ragin'
For a long time, the working title of this blog was "Putting the Rage in Anchorage." I decided against this, though, because I didn't want people to think that I was angry all of the time. However, while I might not be angry *all* of the time, I'm definitely angry *some* of the time, especially when I am, for example, cold. Which, let's be honest, I'll probably be about 95% of the time next year.
I hit my head on a metal bar this morning (which the hotel had strategically placed right above a good luggage spot), and I then learned, while raging, that my road trip has been brewing some frustrations. For example:
1. Why the HECK is it so cold here? It's August, people. Not November. And stop raining, Canada. Your trees look great. They don't need anymore water.
2. When hotel employees answer the phone, they simply say "hello?" And then I have to ask, "is this such-n-such hotel?" And they always say "yes" in a tone that suggests "duh" and I think to myself: You're running a business here, buddy!! The customer is always right and I am the customer so I am right AAAHH!!
3. I'm sick of eating the kind of food you have to eat while traveling. That salmon was great, but everything else has been . . . fried. I want Thai food. Or good (actually good) pizza and a nice bottle of wine. Or some Levain's cookies (http://www.levainbakery.com/). Or Chuy's! Chuy's = best TexMex ever (http://www.chuys.com/).
OK I think that's about it for now. More raging throughout the year, I'm sure.
I hit my head on a metal bar this morning (which the hotel had strategically placed right above a good luggage spot), and I then learned, while raging, that my road trip has been brewing some frustrations. For example:
1. Why the HECK is it so cold here? It's August, people. Not November. And stop raining, Canada. Your trees look great. They don't need anymore water.
2. When hotel employees answer the phone, they simply say "hello?" And then I have to ask, "is this such-n-such hotel?" And they always say "yes" in a tone that suggests "duh" and I think to myself: You're running a business here, buddy!! The customer is always right and I am the customer so I am right AAAHH!!
3. I'm sick of eating the kind of food you have to eat while traveling. That salmon was great, but everything else has been . . . fried. I want Thai food. Or good (actually good) pizza and a nice bottle of wine. Or some Levain's cookies (http://www.levainbakery.com/). Or Chuy's! Chuy's = best TexMex ever (http://www.chuys.com/).
OK I think that's about it for now. More raging throughout the year, I'm sure.
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